Dolly Parton, Humanoid Robots, and the World Record We Broke

Biff (00:00)
Hello everybody, welcome to Laugh Smartly with your host Biff Lucky and Mr. Fun. Here we are another week and two weeks in a row, Mr. Fun. We're gonna come out hot with a joke. Do you have one to start us off?

Mr Fun (00:12)
I do do you guys do you guys shop with your significant others, with your wives, to go as a couple grocery shopping? Okay,

Biff (00:18)
From time to time. Yes, yes.

Lucky (00:19)
Occasionally.

Mr Fun (00:21)
okay. I don't. But anyway, so this couple is going through the grocery store and they're getting the all the essentials. You know, they got their their hamburger patties and their buns and they got, you know, their cereal and their milk and their eggs. And then the husband veers off and he comes back with a case of beer. And the woman says, Hey, we're watching our budget. We don't really need that. And he goes, It's only

It's only twenty five dollars. And she goes, Please put it back. So he puts it back. And then they're going, they get towards the end and she grabs this skin cream that cost fifty dollars. And he goes, Do we really need that? And she goes, It makes my face look pretty. And he goes, So does the beer, but it's only half the price.

Biff (01:02)
That's good. That's

Lucky (01:03)
And that guy d is now visiting his divorce attorney.

Biff (01:07)
yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Mr Fun (01:07)
I think you wound up buying the skin cream. I think you wound up

Biff (01:10)
Thank you. That's really good. So wanna first thank our sponsor, Scotty's vodka, right? Tackle up Bethany Beach, tackle up bb dot com to get fifteen percent off performance fishingware. and again back to Scotty's vodka. Maryland made Maryland smooth, amazingly smooth. I get it wrong every week.

again, in the last few weeks of summer here. You can get it at the Crab Cake Factory, among other places on 120th Street in Ocean City, Maryland. so please go there to get Scotties in and a variety of package and liquor stores all over the Delmarva Peninsula. and then finally, Rockfish once again leads us in with Mrs. Fun, Rockfish and the Riverman. Again, I've got their schedule online. They've got a couple couple more shows this summer. please go and look out for those shows and

If

you're in the northern neck of Virginia, please go see Rockfish in the Rivermen. So it's been a busy week. I will say that. We covered a lot of topics last week, Lucky, and and I know that w we got some feedback on several things. Why don't I s

Lucky (02:09)
Yes.

Biff (02:10)
why don't you go first? Then I've got one to follow up myself.

Lucky (02:12)
Okay. All right. So you guys, I told you my American Airline debacle going up to Bangor, Maine. And so I get back and some people hear the the the show and all of the American airline complaints start flooding into me. Like like I wish I would have known this. My daughter lost her luggage three different times over the last two years flying on American Airlines. and then JK, our our regional spot our regional

What is he? correspondent? Yeah.

Biff (02:43)
He's our Salt Lake City correspondent. Salt Lake City.

Lucky (02:46)
He he tells a story about American Airlines that he had a a ridiculously poor experience. So and then I see in the news this week that American Airlines two tires blew out taxiing for departure on the Chicago O'Hare International Airport runway. So I don't know what's going on with them.

Biff (03:04)
And then I th I think the final

one is they got criticized for taking out the monitors and their seatbacks. And I guess they've acquiesced and they're putting them back in the seat backs so

Lucky (03:14)
Yeah.

Biff (03:14)
people have monitors on the plane. So they are it's not been great times at American Airlines, that's a

Mr Fun (03:20)
And I

Lucky (03:20)
No.

Mr Fun (03:20)
and I'm not trying to be you know, wimpy here, but if American Airlines would like to sponsor our podcast, we're gonna cut all of this out. We're gonna edit it. We love American Airlines.

Biff (03:27)
Yeah.

That's right. That's right. 'Cause you can one thing you can do at American Airlines on the Del Marva you can fly from Salisbury, Maryland to Charlotte, North Carolina and Philadelphia. So you can go everywhere

Mr Fun (03:40)
Yeah.

Biff (03:41)
in the United States just from Salisbury, as as a

Mr Fun (03:43)
Wow.

Lucky (03:43)
But if you wanted

like a four hour delay, of course, you'll fli and

Biff (03:46)
Well, that's right.

It does drop you into Charlotte in the small plane terminal, which is easily a 25 minute walk from the rest of the American Airlines terminal. They they

Mr Fun (03:54)
Will those planes have tires? I'm just curious.

Biff (03:57)
you know, they're yeah, they're f they're float planes. Whether they

Mr Fun (03:59)
Got it.

Biff (04:00)
were intended to be that way or not, they float at this point. So

Mr Fun (04:02)
Got it.

Biff (04:04)
one follow-up from me is we talked about the world record for words on a post-it note. And I I you know I put the challenge out there to you guys. I know I'm the only one that did it.

And the word and the again, the note was, or excuse me, the record was 150 words on a post-it note. And I can show it on camera if the light is not maybe I'll block the light out a little bit. That is 151 words. World record setting.

Lucky (04:32)
Call Guinness.

Biff (04:33)
I gotta call I should have had Guinness call in. It might be based on the fact that I could do it. It maybe took me 15 minutes.

I that I could do it, it might be the dumbest world record in history. Right? It it could

Lucky (04:46)
Well look,

Biff (04:47)
be.

Lucky (04:47)
look, I I told you last week, we didn't want you to set the record because you now you're gonna go on all this fame and fortune, you know, you're gonna go on the a hundred and fifty one sticky note tour, we're never gonna see you again.

Biff (05:01)
I I I'm pretty

sure I'm not gonna get famous and fortune by writing his, her and out fun for Pat Pitt, Ad and Lob. Those aren't those aren't you know, d those that?

Mr Fun (05:10)
Did do

I think this is gonna be the shortest lived world record. If you get it, I think somebody 'cause there's room on that sticky to what

Biff (05:15)
Yeah. I I c I could put

literally thirty at least thirty more words on there. And if I took the numbers out on the side, I could put, you know, probably another fifty words on this thing.

Mr Fun (05:26)
And I told you

you should add the words the last two words should be Eat Me.

Biff (05:29)
Yeah, that's we that's right. And by the way,

Mr Fun (05:31)
Yeah.

Biff (05:32)
every word is three letters on the entire note. I didn't use the two letter words, so I could go to an and a and b, like b e.

Mr Fun (05:40)
Wow.

Biff (05:40)
I I could get to a lot of words there if I went to two letter words.

Mr Fun (05:42)
It's not real.

We're gonna what wasn't real? What did we learn? What did we

get?

Biff (05:45)
Yeah, we learned

so that one, who knows? I did look it up online and it shows a woman with holding the post note. Although I will say that Lucky sent me a phone number, which is something for like 1-800 Guinness, right? And I dial it because I'm like, okay, he sent it for a reason. And then the the prompt says something press one or two, and I press the number, goes, good news, you're eligible for a Medicare bracelet.

Or something like that. I was like, Really? Really what

Mr Fun (06:14)
Nice nice.

Biff (06:17)
it was

Lucky (06:18)
Yeah, when

he announced that when Biff announced that he w set the world record, I s I gave him an a phone number that s spelled out Guinness one eight hundred Guinness and he it was real to something else.

Biff (06:25)
Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was a it was a medic

Mr Fun (06:27)
And it was real to something else.

Biff (06:29)
sorry, it was medical. That was the bracelet

Mr Fun (06:31)
Medical.

Biff (06:32)
that I that I got. So anyways, but then we got so if we got the fast one pulled on us about the the record, although I think it's real, there's another one that we had a a post story follow-up.

Mr Fun (06:42)
Ten

minutes. We talked about it for ten minutes on the podcast.

Lucky (06:42)
Well, okay.

Biff (06:44)
Right.

Yeah.

Lucky (06:45)
So

I have about ten jars of urine stored

Biff (06:49)
Ha ha

Lucky (06:49)
up ready to cool down my local data center, and then we c go we go to find out it was a big the story that came out l last week was a big f farce. It was not true.

Mr Fun (06:59)
Yeah.

Biff (07:00)
It was a great marketing

Mr Fun (07:00)
We got scammed.

Biff (07:01)
campaign for liquid death and whatever their beer was called. Yeah, so that was

Lucky (07:05)
Yeah. So anyway.

Mr Fun (07:06)
Yeah. Save that

'cause there's lots of there's lots of jellyfish down at the beach. So save your jars. Save your jars.

Lucky (07:12)
Yes. Well, speaking

Biff (07:12)
Mm.

Lucky (07:13)
of jellyfish, did you guys see the space jellyfish this week? SpaceX had a they had a l a rocket launch from Florida, but it went across the DC area, New Jersey, New York City, through the Carolinas. At night you could see it going across the sky and it looked like a big jellyfish and which is really cool. It was carrying s twenty nine Starlink satellites. but I I don't know, I thought that was really

Biff (07:40)
So what was c what was causing

the tentacles, if you want to call it that?

Lucky (07:44)
The the the the f the exha the f the you know the fuel flumes coming out of the back. Yeah. I th that's what I assume.

Biff (07:49)
Really? And did did did people

know that when but when they were when it was launching, meaning they knew they they they dubbed it the jellyfish or that was after the fact when people saw it in the sky?

Lucky (08:00)
I think that's what they I mean, it probably looks like that all the time. You know, but they called us space jellyfish for some reason. Maybe because jellyfish are on top of everybody's mind here in the D V. I don't know.

Mr Fun (08:10)
I saw

the warning. I saw the warning that said don't ever sit on a space jellyfish 'cause it can get sucked into your anus.

Biff (08:18)
Jeez, holy cow.

I I g understood where you were

Mr Fun (08:20)
'Cause it's a space jellyfish. It's a space Yeah.

Biff (08:23)
going with that.

Lucky (08:24)
Sot in your anus. Yeah, that's that's scary.

Biff (08:27)
So

the only other follow up item for me was we talked about that the Penn State Pablo Pledge Scabar. and my my daughter Natalie down in Charlotte listening to the show comes back and says, you know, there's a great, you know, there's a a a great I'd say line, excuse me, it's gonna sound like that. Instead of the knitting line knitting lions, they should be the Penn State Nittany lines moving forward. So it's that's good.

Mr Fun (08:49)
Lines. Yeah, they were led by

Blow Paterno. Blow Paterno

Biff (08:54)
But

Lucky (08:55)
that's pretty

good.

quick ones. there's a Burger King in my neighbor like two two miles from my neighborhood. I'm gonna hit it. it was either go take Mrs. Lucky on her birthday to Burger King or to her favorite Chinese restaurant. So we had to go there instead. So but Burger King. I'm gonna try the Whopper. Yeah. That's a yes, yes.

Mr Fun (09:13)
For the Whopper, right? You're gonna try the Whopper and provide a review? Wow, good stuff.

Hey, I'd like to make an announcement too. This week I've noticed a drop-off from two to zero for my one dollar donations. So look me up on

Biff (09:28)
Yeah.

Mr Fun (09:29)
PayPal or Venmo. I got a picture of myself. It's a good looking picture. And if you'd like to send me a dollar for no reason, I'd really appreciate it.

Lucky (09:37)
Well, okay, so we've re s received a collective three dollars. I hopefully that

Mr Fun (09:41)
Yes.

Biff (09:41)
Yes.

Lucky (09:41)
doesn't indicate we have three total listeners.

Mr Fun (09:44)
Now, now.

Biff (09:45)
No,

I d I know. What it means is we have a lot of smart listeners in the that that know not to send us money. We do. That that's the least we can do is get a dollar from each listener. Yeah,

Mr Fun (09:51)
I don't know. We're doing hard work here. Every week. Every week we put out an excellent product. Could sure use a donation. Exactly.

Biff (10:00)
that's right. you're gonna do that. I'm gonna start the Patreon account

following this show.

Mr Fun (10:03)
Yeah. If you send me the

dollar you can also hit that recurring thing so I get it every single month. That would be amazing.

Biff (10:07)
Ha

Lucky (10:12)
all right. So big story this past week. the matriarch of country music passed away. Dolly Parton died. 80 years old. a quick a quick death. nobody knew, I don't think she knew she was sick. She died of cancer. but man, she was a yeah, yeah, you know, as she got older and people started recognizing her for all her accomplishments.

later in life. I mean, you knew she was just just had done so much in her life. Put aside her music stuff. I mean, her Dollywood. She had all kinds of charity things. But I mean, who is living today in the entertainment world that has a stature of of Dolly? Like, I'm trying to think, like somebody who has done that much.

Biff (10:58)
Well, I I think you would say like

Mr Fun (10:58)
Well what what do you

Biff (10:59)
a Paul McCartney. Is Paul McCartney

Mr Fun (11:00)
you got? Yeah.

Biff (11:02)
still alive, right? McJagger. You've

Lucky (11:03)
Yeah.

Biff (11:03)
got some guys that are are are still alive. They're in their eighties, right?

Lucky (11:08)
Yeah, yeah.

Biff (11:09)
so but if y if it's an individual yeah, I think people would probably put although I wouldn't agree with it, Willie Nelson in that group, right? He's a big songwriter, huge songwriter. Not

Lucky (11:16)
No. Yeah, but not Doll I don't think d but like

the the the Dollywood and all the you know the movies she's done and the you know, she's I mean she's in two

Biff (11:26)
Well, it's the song

songwriting that she's most known for. Right.

Mr Fun (11:29)
3,000 songs. She

Lucky (11:31)
Yeah.

Mr Fun (11:31)
wrote she wrote 3,000 songs. Do you know I I was left to wonder, just how big do you think Jolene's boobs were?

Lucky (11:42)
You know what this you know what the

Mr Fun (11:42)
It

Lucky (11:43)
the story from that song is? It was

Mr Fun (11:45)
That's why I'm wondering 'cause

Lucky (11:47)
her. So her husband was hitting on a bank teller, and she wrote this song about that situation. Which is crazy.

Mr Fun (11:52)
Yeah, named Jolene. That she was gonna steal her man. Yeah.

Biff (11:57)
Yeah.

Lucky (11:59)
But did you know she's in two of the Hall of Fame? She's in the country music hall of fame and the rock and roll hall of fame. she her her her father paid the they were so poor growing up.

Her father paid the doctor who did who handled the birth with a sack of cornmeal.

Mr Fun (12:18)
Do you know, there's a bunch of like fans of hers, male fans that are thinking about cutting their hair a certain way to as a tribute to her. And I think they're gonna mull it over. I think they're gonna mull it over. Yeah.

Lucky (12:33)
Mull it over. Okay.

Biff (12:35)
Yeah.

Lucky (12:35)
Okay. Here's a question. So you guys are like four or five years older than I am.

Mr Fun (12:39)
What are we really four or five?

Lucky (12:41)
Roughly.

Biff (12:41)
Yeah.

Lucky (12:42)
When you were growing up, was Dolly Parton like in the sex symbol category for you guys?

Mr Fun (12:50)
Yeah. She

Biff (12:50)
Come on.

Mr Fun (12:51)
was she was big boobed and wore revealing tops. And but she had

Biff (12:56)
Well the

Mr Fun (12:56)
such a great sense of humor, she was more like the girl next door. You know, it was yeah.

Biff (13:02)
Yeah, I

g I guess maybe she was in the movie Nine to Five, right? That was big in

Mr Fun (13:05)
Yeah. Yeah.

Biff (13:06)
in the mid eighties, I guess it was. Something like that. you know, there was also around that same time to to Miss Front's when she's big boobs. There was that that woman that used to run on the baseball field, blonde hair, big but there was these there was this that kind of, you know, Elvira Dolly. I mean, yeah, I hate to I'm not comparing Elvira to Dolly Parton, but that was just sort of the time, right? Yeah.

Mr Fun (13:28)
When life was when life was good, when life was

simple. It was the simple things in life.

Biff (13:31)
But yes, I guess you'd say it was

probably a bit of a sex symbol. Not I'm not n not necessarily me per se, but whatever you could see it.

Lucky (13:37)
I didn't really see her as the sex symbol. At the like I it for some you know, I think that four to five year difference, it it for me, she didn't seem like that. Although she was attractive, you know, but I saw her as more like 'cause my mom liked her. So I was like, yeah, I don't I didn't find her that attractive as a teenager growing up. That

Mr Fun (13:53)
Ooh. If she made you

think of your mom, that's that's not good. That's not good.

Biff (13:59)
Yeah, yeah, that's

right.

Lucky (14:01)
Okay,

here's a cool t story too. So Biff, you saw this today. So we a bunch of us college fr friends from University of Maryland have been for 35 years, we've been going to play golf at a a golf course called Down River in Everett, Pennsylvania. one of our friends has a Brian E has a cabin there. You know, we've been playing golf, you know, at least once a year. There Downriver posted a picture of of Dolly Parton.

Right when she was starting out in her music career, she was traveling with a couple other singers and they stopped to play golf at this golf course. you know, you know, I don't know when it was, probably in the six somewhere in the sixties, which was so cool. You know, like the next time we go there.

Mr Fun (14:44)
She was a golf she was a golfer.

Lucky (14:46)
She wasn't a golfer, I think. The guy she was

Biff (14:46)
No, sh they're a performer.

Lucky (14:48)
with a bunch of guys and that were playing golf. But

Mr Fun (14:48)
Right. Right. Wow.

Lucky (14:51)
I thought that was really cool that, you know, so the next time we go to the course, which will be in a couple weeks.

I'm gonna be you know, it'll bring gives us another level of

Biff (14:57)
She she

had a different name. Right? She had a in the thing she was called Dolly Wagner in there. That's so that's so in the in the photos, yeah, Wagner. or or maybe she I don't think she was married before. Right. Yeah.

Mr Fun (15:06)
That was your original name? Is that what you're saying?

Lucky (15:09)
Well, the the the the star she was traveling with had that name. I don't know. I don't

know if it was a misprint. I don't think she ever went by that name.

Biff (15:18)
She was listed as Dolly Wagner. That's what it said. And and by the way, Mr. Fun, downriver, it's in South Central Pennsylvania. Everett's in a s very pretty small town. it is a municipal course in the truest sense. Like it's it's purely a public course owned by the town, I'm guessing, or something like that. So it's not like playing Augusta National, but it's

Mr Fun (15:36)
Right.

Biff (15:37)
pretty cool that that they stopped there for whatever reason, way back when. So that's cool. So my gosh. All right. So

Mr Fun (15:40)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's the breast. It's the I mean best. It's the best. Yeah.

Lucky (15:45)
Twenty twenty-five

number one country singles. Dolly Parton, you know, rest in peace, lived a great life, you've impacted so many people. She will be missed, one

hundred percent.

Biff (15:57)
Yep,

Mr Fun (15:57)
Yep.

Yeah.

Biff (15:58)
absolutely.

So Lucky mentioned that her dad paid with corn meal, which is a good Mr. Funny, you know how I like the transition. I I I and this is a transition to I yeah, I am. So yeah, so I

Mr Fun (16:06)
Yeah, that's amazing. You are getting c better and better at transitioning. It's really it's really it's really fun to watch. It's really fun to watch.

Biff (16:15)
I drove back to the western shore the other day, and as it's as it's it's obvious even driving around here, but there's a lot of corn on the eastern shore and in the Del Marva Peninsula.

And it got me thinking, because I get like sort of obsessed with corn. And the the first thing is, you know, how often as individuals do you eat corn or corn products? And there's a lot of corn. There seems to be more corn than corn is eaten by by humans for sure. So I'm like, well, I need to do a little research into corn. But before I get there, so Mr. Fun, I I I'm just gonna ask you in the span of a summer, how many ears of corn do you think you eat?

Mr Fun (16:54)
I like corn. I we don't have it as much as I wish we did. I would say I eat ten over the summer. But I eat it every meal. I love it. I love it.

Biff (17:00)
Okay. All right. Lucky,

how many would you eat?

Lucky (17:04)
I eat a lot of corn. I and I I also we have a lot of dishes we make corn you know, we put corn in. So I probably eat twenty or thirty a summer maybe. Yeah, roughly.

Biff (17:14)
Okay. All right. I I know

and I look I my my guess is between here you know probably a ten to a dozen, maybe. But it's it's you know, it's that's not it's not a big period of time. You know, not everybody's eating ten years of corn in the summer. So I I was just trying to understand the data behind how big a crop of corn is. First thing from a data point is that a acre of corn, so you know, an acre is a a pretty known measurement, has

30,000 ears of corn, right? So and and a hundred acres

Mr Fun (17:47)
It's a lot of years.

Biff (17:48)
would be three million ears of corn in a hundred acres. You could feed an almost most of the two-thirds of the top 50 cities in the US. You could give every person an ear of corn, just in a hundred acres, right? So it's a lot. But most of it is, as we found out, is forty percent of corn goes to animal feed, forty percent goes to ethanol, which didn't exist until

The eight the eighties, and then

Mr Fun (18:13)
Yeah.

Biff (18:14)
twenty percent for humans, right? And that's that's cornmeal, tortillas, corn oil, starch sweeteners, and what they call sweet corn. Any corn that that you eat is called sweet corn, as opposed to Indian corn or what what's the and or the feed corn, if you will. Okay.

Lucky (18:31)
Yeah, kidding for

Mr Fun (18:31)
Candy corn. Candy corn.

Biff (18:33)
So if I had if you had to guess which state produces the most corn.

What would you guess?

Lucky (18:44)
Iowa.

Mr Fun (18:45)
Well that'd be my guess, but I'm gonna think you're throwing a curveball at us. I'm gonna say like got it, okay. All right.

Biff (18:46)
Bing, bing, bing. No, he got it right. He got Iowa. Iowa,

they do, and a bushel, by the way, they measure the the corn yield in bushels. And bushels have, let me get me this right. there are 186 bushels per acre, and there's typically, you can argue, about a hundred ears of corn in a bushel. In Iowa, they produce 2.765 billion bushels of corn in Iowa.

Mr Fun (19:15)
Huh.

Biff (19:16)
Which is a lot of corn. Illinois is number two at 2.32 billion, right? About twenty percent of the corn leaves the the United States and gets exported. Okay, so that's the high point. Where do you think the state of Delaware fits in the number of bushels in terms of how many bushes bushels do you think the state of Delaware produces in corn?

Lucky (19:37)
I'm gonna say they're in the top ten.

Biff (19:40)
Delaware.

Lucky (19:41)
Yeah.

Biff (19:41)
The state's not physically big enough to be in the top ten.

Lucky (19:43)
I don't I'm just guessing.

Biff (19:44)
Okay, well that's a well that's a great guess, okay. Well just you know, if if I was what

Mr Fun (19:45)
Like we're supposed to come up with a number? Fourteen million. Like fourteen million, I think. Bush.

Biff (19:52)
you're close. It's thirty point two three million bushels in Delaware. Okay.

Mr Fun (19:56)
Yeah, I was I was

I was thinking you were talking about northern Delaware. I didn't know you were talking about the whole state.

Biff (20:01)
Okay, that's you you're close though. Maryland, sixty-eight point eight five million bushels. The surprising

Mr Fun (20:07)
Well.

Biff (20:07)
thing is Maryland produces more corn than Virginia, a state that is substantially top three states

Mr Fun (20:10)
Well give us a ranking top three states for corn production.

Biff (20:13)
are Iowa, Illinois, Nebraska, Minnesota, Indiana, that go to South Dakota, Kansas, Ohio, North Dakota, Missouri.

Lucky (20:21)
All the Midwest.

Biff (20:22)
All in the Midwest. Maze. Yeah.

Mr Fun (20:22)
The Indians called it mais, mace, right? The Indians.

Hey, do you know what a pirate

Lucky (20:27)
My ease.

Mr Fun (20:28)
charges for corn?

Biff (20:30)
What is a pirate urge?

Mr Fun (20:31)
A buccaneer. Buccaneer. Hey, if there

Biff (20:33)
Buccaneer. That's very good. That's very good.

Lucky (20:33)
Yeah.

Mr Fun (20:35)
was an army of corn, who would lead it? The colonel? Probably a colonel. a corn. That's nice. That's British is.

Biff (20:39)
Cornwallis. I think a cornwallis. But anyway,

so I again there is a lot of corn grown in this country and most of it is not for eating by humans, which I found to be interesting. So it's

Mr Fun (20:56)
Should we keep our

ears out for more corn information?

Keep our keep our ear.

Lucky (21:00)
ears out like like this.

Biff (21:00)
Yes, ears out. That's right. That's right.

Lucky (21:03)
Point out for those of you watching on YouTube.

Biff (21:05)
That's that's exactly right. So good. another one that caught my eye quickly I'll go to there was I was reading the Wall Street Journal, and the headline says competitive subway riders will stop at nothing for a world record. There's a group of people called transit speedrunners that try to hit all the city stations as fast as possible. That means they gotta they gotta go by every station on a subway line. And the the the the protagonist in the story was this guy, Enzo Wu.

Who's trying to break the record in San Francisco for the Bay Area Rapid Transit System? So that's their subway system. And the Bay Area Rapid Transit System for a scale, it's 50 stations and 131 miles of track. And the record is to go to all those stations in five hours and 47 minutes, certified by the Guinness Book of World Records. So to do that whole thing 131 miles and go by every station, it's what they start the clock when the door stops on the first station.

And when it opens on the last station, that's how they do it. But the holy grail is the New York City subway station. Or the stuff

Lucky (22:12)
Which is complex.

Biff (22:13)
the the sub subway line. So how long, Ms. Funn, do you think it would take to go to go to every station in New York City's subway system?

Mr Fun (22:26)
It would be eight hours.

Biff (22:30)
Lucky, guess?

Lucky (22:32)
Well, there's a lot of like there's a lot of complexities in the the New York subway. I I would say it's probably more than that, a couple of days.

Biff (22:40)
That's a twenty two hours is what it would take

Lucky (22:43)
Twenty two hours. Wow.

Biff (22:44)
to go to every subway station. And the one reason they call it speed running, which I didn't understand when I was reading, is that sometimes they like to transfer between two lines by running from the end of one line to the other line. for those in the Washington, DC area, I think it would be the equivalent of the Farragut North station, which I believe is on the red line, versus the Farragut West Station, which I think is on the orange line. So if you wanted to attack two things, you would run between those lines.

And try to catch a train. I happen to walk.

Mr Fun (23:11)
I wasn't really

thinking about the transfer. I thought you

Biff (23:14)
What'd say?

Mr Fun (23:15)
get on one and you just ride it the whole way. That makes a lot more sense that.

Biff (23:18)
Yeah, but you get you gotta get between lines and it's just quicker that way. And ones that have like

Mr Fun (23:21)
Sure, now I see that.

Biff (23:23)
the edge like like combs or something like that. But it's really cool. I thought it was

Mr Fun (23:26)
I saw this

Biff (23:27)
really done.

Mr Fun (23:27)
I saw this deaf mute lady. She was on the subway sitting next to a blind guy and she was talking to him using sign language and he he wouldn't answer her. It was he just sat there, he wouldn't answer her. Because she was using sign language and he was blind.

Biff (23:47)
I just

Lucky (23:48)
Okay. Is that a joke? Or is that like

Mr Fun (23:51)
It was an attempt at a joke. It was an

attempt

Lucky (23:53)
is that a fact?

Mr Fun (23:54)
It was an attempt

They're not all worked out. They're just I'm s I'm workshopping some. I'm just workshopping some.

Biff (24:02)
Okay, so I read this other thing, which is there's not particularly a date, and I'm not sure why it was served up to me, but I thought the story was really cool. I'll just read it to you. On July 2nd, 1982, a truck driver from California flew 16,000 feet into the sky in a lawn chair. Larry Walters, 33 from San Pedro, had dreamed of flying his whole life. He bought 42 eight foot helium weather balloons, tied them to a Sears lawn chair.

strapped on a parachute, packed a BB gun to pop balloons to descend, a CB radio sandwiches, and a six pack of beer. He expected to float a few hundred feet above his backyard. He cut the rope and shot up like a rocket to sixteen thousand feet. He drifted directly into the main approach path for Los Angeles International Airport. Two airline pilots radioed the tower. They had just passed a man in a lawn chair holding a gun at sixteen thousand feet. For for forty five minutes he floated over Los Angeles, freezing cold, too scared to shoot balloons

'Cause he was worried he might fall. Finally he started popping balloons one by one and slowly descended. Landed he landed tangled in power lines in Long Beach, California, causing a blackout. When peoply when police arrested him, they asked him why he did it, he said, A man can't just sit around.

Mr Fun (25:18)
True.

Biff (25:19)
That's what he said. And he became a folk hero. And his name was Lawn Chair Larry, and he inspired the movie Up, the Disney

Lucky (25:26)
wow.

Biff (25:26)
movie. So that's the beginning.

Mr Fun (25:27)
Wait, was it over

a it was over a ski lift?

Biff (25:30)
No, no, no. He was he was in on the ocean

Lucky (25:32)
California.

Biff (25:33)
in California, Los Angeles.

Mr Fun (25:35)
I thought you were talking about a chairlift.

Chair Lift. Over sorry.

Biff (25:38)
Very good. Very good. So

would you ever it it's an interesting thing, would you dream up something like that to do crazy like that, right? Go in the air, you know, five hundred feet in a lawn chair.

Lucky (25:55)
I don't know. Because I'm not g you know, I'm not like I don't know aerodynamics very well. And the next thing you

Biff (26:02)
Right.

Lucky (26:02)
know, I'm falling out or the wind's taking me somewhere I don't want to go. You know, I don't know if he had a background in aerodynamics or any kind of other kind of science.

Mr Fun (26:10)
How much beer? How much how

much beer did he drink?

Biff (26:13)
He had a six pack with him. He had a six. So

Mr Fun (26:15)
yeah, not with a six pack. Maybe a couple of cases.

Biff (26:17)
the g you know, the good news is think about it though that Lucky could actually repair the chair.

If you remember that

Mr Fun (26:22)
Yes.

Lucky (26:23)
one hundred percent.

Biff (26:23)
from from a couple of weeks ago he talked about how he's repairing lawn chairs and other beach furniture.

Mr Fun (26:29)
Well now you couldn't afford

the balloons because of the cost of inflation.

Biff (26:35)
That's

Lucky (26:35)
yeah, there you go.

Biff (26:36)
good. Have either of you been in a hot air balloon?

Mr Fun (26:38)
Now

Lucky (26:39)
No, I was sc we I had a vacation where we were gonna do it, but the weather got too bad and they canceled it. That was the closest I've ever got to.

Biff (26:45)
So so

we did it in in Palm Springs area of California. The entire family, we went up and you you get up early in the morning because the air's cool and then the balloon rises up and it's and it's like a it's it's like that stereotypical kind of wicker basket, right? It's a it's a it's not metal or anything. It's it's it's wood. And when it starts to take off, you know, it floats because the balloon's filled with hot air, but to get it to go higher, they take the jet.

Or whatever the where the fuel comes out, the the heat, the flame, it is the loudest thing. It it's it scares you. It's like it goes and it and the balloon rises. We got up to 4,000 feet.

Mr Fun (27:25)
Wow.

Biff (27:25)
And we're just in a basket. You've got nothing, you're not strapped in. You're just at 4,000 feet. And then they then it slowly descends over time and you land it in the desert. at some point. It was it was I'm usually pretty afraid of heights. For some reason, I wasn't particularly afraid of heights.

Now we had our two kids in there. I'm not sure it was the smartest thing we ever did. they were young.

Lucky (27:45)
I would not do that.

Biff (27:46)
Yeah, it was a it was a neat experience. You should do it once.

Mr Fun (27:50)
I've been compared to a hot air balloon. I've been compared to a hot air balloon.

Biff (27:53)
Well, I c I can't go down that path. I've you've got mad when I've talked about Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and you.

Mr Fun (28:00)
Well, I don't remember. Did he say

I was like kept down by hundreds of men holding ropes? Yes, thank you. I appreciate that.

Biff (28:04)
Yes, something similar to that. You're welcome. So good.

Lucky (28:08)
All

right. So this past week you talk about balloons. The world record, Guinness Book of World's Record for the longest water balloon throw was was logged. Okay. So, okay, and I want you to I play listen along on this, and I need you to try to figure out how you would do this. Okay. It was a father and son team from Idaho. They broke the record, okay, the for the farthest distance to throw and catch a water balloon. 141

Mr Fun (28:35)
that's the key.

Lucky (28:37)
feet.

Okay. So their their biggest challenge was trying to figure out how they were going to throw it. Because if you're trying to throw something that far and you put that much force into it, it usually breaks, you know, like

Mr Fun (28:52)
Sure.

Lucky (28:52)
almost as you're throwing it. So how would you how would you guys throw it? Because I'll tell you how they did it.

Biff (28:57)
So yeah, that's that's basically forty five yards or something like that, right? Hundred and forty some odd feet. So forty five yards, how would you throw does it say what size the balloon is? Is it like a the size of a softball? Just just for sake of argument. Right.

Lucky (29:10)
it doesn't say the article doesn't say how big

it was.

Mr Fun (29:13)
I would I I suppose I'm wrong 'cause this makes too much sense. I would throw it underhand. I would throw it underhand and I'd arc it perfectly into my son's hands.

Biff (29:25)
Yeah, I I would think that because if you throw it overhand, it goes off your fingers, right? So it it deforms the balloon. If you go underhand, you can cup it, right? And and you can send it along with it. And then the kid or whoever has to catch it, right? They've got to catch it two handed. It's probably least deformed if you throw it underhand. Is that correct?

Lucky (29:43)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Mr Fun (29:44)
What's

what's the record for throwing a water balloon with a sticky note with a hundred and fifty one words on it? Is is there a record for that?

Biff (29:50)
That's right. I could do that. I g I again I'm ready. We'll

do that. We get Yeah.

Lucky (29:55)
Okay.

So th this one, the the the kid, did I say how old the kid was? The kid was ten years old who caught the balloon. Which is

Biff (30:00)
No. Okay. Wow.

Lucky (30:04)
crazy. So here's here's how the how's here's how David Rush, the dad, did it. What what I ended up doing was trying a catapult motion where I swing my arm around with a straight arm in a circle and then release it when it it's at its apex using the centrifugal force.

To accelerate the balloon and then when its velocity is in the direction I want, let it go and let it fly up in the air over an arc, like Mr. Fun said. So they tried it a bunch of times, but they finally got it to go 141 feet, which is a pretty it's not a like sticky note s kind of world record. This is a s significant, legitimate world record.

Mr Fun (30:40)
We might have to try just throwing it without catching it. Maybe we'll develop we'll we'll you know, work our way up to catching it.

Biff (30:48)
What do you think I it'd be interesting to to next time we see each other we just get a water balloon and see how far we think it I mean do you think you can go you could go twenty yard

Mr Fun (30:56)
Yeah, I think I could throw I think I could throw a water balloon forty yards.

Biff (31:00)
you think you could go twenty yards. You would think you could do that, right? I think in a water balloon contest at a

Mr Fun (31:06)
Yeah.

Biff (31:06)
company picnic you could go twenty yards. It's the issue of doubling that. That's a that's pretty big.

Lucky (31:11)
Good old company picnic.

Biff (31:13)
Yeah. Yeah. No, you gotta go forty.

Mr Fun (31:13)
Twenty yards I can almost spit

I can almost spit twenty yards. You can throw one of a little more than twenty.

Biff (31:18)
Okay. Well you gotta go. Okay. Well you

gotta you gotta throw at twenty yards and catch it twenty yards just to start.

Mr Fun (31:23)
That's the catching thing is the hard part.

Biff (31:25)
Well, yeah, but I don't I don't understand the swinging the arm around here like he's like like a superhero. I don't that

Mr Fun (31:31)
And the guy overthought.

Lucky (31:31)
It's like a s throw

it's like pitching a softball.

Something like that.

Biff (31:36)
Do but

well that's one swing. Hit makes it sound like he did more than one swing.

Lucky (31:40)
A couple.

Biff (31:41)
What

Mr Fun (31:41)
Like a catapult, yeah.

Lucky (31:43)
Yeah.

All right. I s have you guys been following what's going on in Europe with the the European water crisis? not a lot of rain, a lot of the rivers are starting to

Biff (31:55)
Right.

Lucky (31:55)
sort of you know, they're really l at the like the lowest levels they've been in a long time.

Biff (32:01)
Yeah, I've seen some of it. Part of it because the highlights that I saw were they're worried about some of the nuclear power plants that are cooled by some of the rivers and they're the the the the r the the diversions are losing water. So I've seen that.

Lucky (32:12)
Yeah.

Yeah. Well, Greta P, who we've talked about, she had a cruise on the Rhine canceled because they don't have enough water to, you know, get into the ports with the cruise ships. So but all these all these like the Rhine River, the Danube, all kinds of other rivers are at their lowest levels and they're sh they're people are discovering all these crazy things that were

you know, left under you know, left at the bottom of these rivers. So like they found a Nazi war warship in the Danube. I guess the Germans like scuttled a bunch of like World War II the their black fleet fleets. So they found all these ships, all kinds of barges and boats, bombs that were found in Italy in the river Po, soldiers' remains they found, which is crazy. but like I don't know. It's it's

I don't they need some rain big time.

Mr Fun (33:10)
There's a plan

Biff (33:10)
What?

Mr Fun (33:10)
that they're gonna get rain from other areas on Earth. I heard you can get it delivered from Amazon. From

Lucky (33:19)
That's pretty good.

Mr Fun (33:20)
from the Amazon. Yeah.

Biff (33:20)
I I I

mean I I mean I gotta imagine that's like when out west when some of the lakes, the reservoirs are are dry upright and they found some cars with bodies in it. Can you imagine if they could drain the Hudson River what you might find in that thing? Yeah,

Lucky (33:36)
my gosh.

Biff (33:37)
I mean there there's gotta be some things in that river. And and you know, it's just kind of interesting to think about. that you like you went to we went to Amsterdam, you guys of all we've all been to Amsterdam.

They talk about how many bikes they pull out of those canals. Like ten thousand a year or something like that. People just chucking bikes into the canals. So I mean there's th to think about what's underwater is is you know.

Mr Fun (34:01)
Bikes and dykes.

Biff (34:03)
What? that's the but that that's

Lucky (34:04)
Thanks and dykes.

Mr Fun (34:04)
Don't don't they put a lot of dykes in?

Biff (34:06)
the bikes club in the the the motorcycle club in Rohwood Beach.

Mr Fun (34:11)
Really?

Biff (34:12)
That's right. That was on the I and I'm not breaking any ground here. This was that was in the Christmas parade. And it was

the the Harley Davidson Club, the lesbian Harley Davidson Club was was dykes on bikes.

Mr Fun (34:24)
I love that.

Biff (34:25)
That's what it was.

Mr Fun (34:26)
Yeah, they get a lot of likes, those bikes on dikes. Dikes on

Biff (34:30)
Yeah.

Mr Fun (34:30)
bikes. Can't even say

it.

Lucky (34:33)
so are you guys Mr. Fun, I know you we talked about this last year. Are you do are you playing fantasy football this year? So

Mr Fun (34:39)
I am, I am. I won last

year. In my second time ever in life playing. I I won.

Lucky (34:46)
Well, it's fantasy football drafting. but if I don't you don't seem like a fantasy football guy.

Biff (34:52)
I I I I am not. I do not play.

Lucky (34:54)
Have you ever done fantasy football?

Biff (34:56)
I've done it probably in my life. I've maybe done it two seasons. I didn't I just I break a rule at some point about trading somebody or taking somebody off a debt, whatever it is, and then I'm like, this is just too not enough it's not worth the pain for me to be a fantasy football.

Lucky (35:09)
So you're

not one of the fifty three million Americans that participate in fantasy sports?

Biff (35:14)
I I am I am not.

Lucky (35:17)
I I just I started looking. I mean, I do one league. I've been doing it since the early nineties. I know some people who do eight leagues, which is crazy. I spent $150 to be in my league. But you think about somebody's in eight leagues and they're spending about, you know, $150. I mean, that's a significant amount amount of money just for a little hobby, you know. But the fantasy sports industry, fantasy is a nine point three billion dollar business.

Biff (35:46)
Yeah. But

Lucky (35:47)
Which is crazy.

Biff (35:48)
well that includes baseball, right? That includes other things. Not not just football. Football's the big one, right?

Lucky (35:51)
Yeah, yeah. I mean fa fa fantasy football is

the predominant I mean, but there are f other fantasy sports. but they expect it

Biff (35:56)
So it was

Lucky (35:58)
to the they expect the mu the business to grow to twenty one billion by t twenty thirty three.

Biff (36:03)
Yeah. So we were at the go.

Mr Fun (36:04)
Do you guys spend your do do you spend your

Sundays watching football?

Lucky (36:08)
I do.

Mr Fun (36:09)
Yeah. FDU? Hmm.

Biff (36:11)
I do not. I

I I spend Sunday night I like Sunday night games. I like the night games. Like do other things during the day.

Mr Fun (36:16)
I asked my

wife, I said, Should I watch more football or more porn porn? And she said, You should watch more porn because you already know football. That's what she said to me. Yeah.

Biff (36:30)
so we were lucky we were at boathouse last Friday, Mr. Fun, whatever day it was, Thursday or Friday, and behind us is a mother of a Carolina Panther. His name was Jason, Jason Jason Coker,

Mr Fun (36:43)
Yeah. Jason, yep.

Biff (36:47)
number two receiver on the Carolina Panthers.

Lucky (36:50)
Okay.

Biff (36:51)
And he's undrafted out of Holy Cross, second year, he's got a big contract, big just signed a big contract or something like that.

but immediately those that were that heard that her son was Jason Coker, they went to the fantasy football rankings. It wasn't even to talk to him about how good a player he was. It's like where does he sit in the rankings? Yeah.

Mr Fun (37:10)
I saw him at one seven. So he'll get

picked at our twelve person league. He'll definitely get picked. He's the he's he's this

Biff (37:15)
Yeah.

Lucky (37:15)
I don't think that dude was drafted in my league that I did and we have twelve. I don't even know that guy.

Mr Fun (37:20)
he's the second wide receiver on the on the Panthers.

Biff (37:22)
On the Panthers.

Mr Fun (37:23)
So I'm rooting for big things. I told the white the mom, go back and tell him I like him, but he's gonna have to score some touchdowns if I pick him.

Biff (37:30)
Yeah.

Mr Fun (37:30)
Yeah.

Biff (37:31)
I I doubt that nobody took him because nobody has any faith in Bryce Young, right? He's the quarterback. So I think that might be the the reason nobody take a Panthers quarterback, so

Mr Fun (37:35)
Bryce Young, the quarterback. Yeah. It was cool though.

It was cool to meet the the mom of a starting NFL wide receiver. Pretty neat. Pretty

Biff (37:44)
Absolutely. So

Mr Fun (37:46)
neat.

Biff (37:47)
in other sports news I happen to catch, and I think a lot of you saw it, was this whole thing about the the humanoid robots. And the and the headline was that a robot ran a race and beat the world record of a human, which was Usain Bolt's record from two thousand and nine, I think it was, might have been two thousand and eight. But the

Lucky (38:04)
One ten dash.

Biff (38:05)
the hundred the a hundred meter dash, right? So

Lucky (38:07)
No, okay. Yeah.

Biff (38:08)
I think that's the the the actual record that that the robot broke.

and I can find if I can find my notes here, I can tell you what the time was on that because I put it somewhere else. The the time that Usain Bolt did it in was 9.58 seconds. The the humanoid robot did it in 9.39 seconds, the hundred meter dash, but then crashed into the wall and you know burned in flames. it had like a siege, it just ran into the wall.

Mr Fun (38:34)
Exploded?

Lucky (38:34)
Had had like a seizure. He had like a seizure at the

Mr Fun (38:37)
I love that.

Biff (38:39)
And then as you see on the other robots that ran, some broke in half, guys running behind with fire extinguishers. It was crazy to see what was happening with these robots. And I even said

Lucky (38:48)
Yeah.

Biff (38:49)
to Lucky, they had they had these humanoid games, they had robot cheerleaders, humanoid robot cheerleaders. And at one point they show one of the humanoid robots wandering by them and turning its head to the to the humanoid cheerleaders, and the robot walked off the platform.

'Cause he was just so obsessed at looking at the humanoid women, cheerleaders. It was crazy.

Mr Fun (39:13)
Wait, wait, was it

did they have skin or did they look like robots? What was the name

Biff (39:16)
No, they looked metal. They looked like C three PO. They

Mr Fun (39:19)
of the the the movie? The the the series you went to you paid money, it was like Fantasy Island with robots. Come on, help me out. It was so famous.

Biff (39:27)
no w Westworld?

Mr Fun (39:28)
Westworld. Westworld reminds me of Westworld. It's 30 years later, 40 years later, whatever it's been. Westworld had the the robots that malfunctioned, but they could do you know, they looked very human, human.

Biff (39:40)
I mean

it's crazy to think what they're again, they've got it so they got they've got a robot that can you know, run up at that speed. I think you know, as you think about robots and drones and these other things, that's the scary bit, you

Mr Fun (39:52)
Yeah.

Biff (39:53)
know, in the future is that you know, wars could be fought with things

Lucky (39:56)
Yeah.

Biff (39:56)
that that, you know, that are obviously not human in that case. It's

Mr Fun (40:00)
They actually made

a a sex robot in the likeness of Hussein Bolt and it would have sex quickly and then leave. It was called Nuts and Bolt. Nuts and Bolt. That was the sex version of Hussein Bolt Bolt robot.

Biff (40:16)
Huh?

Lucky (40:20)
Bill Gates did speaking of AI, Bill Gates had a big op-ed kind of thing in I think it was in the Wall Street Journal this past week about the fear of he's fearing AI and replacing, you know, you know, all this all this human activity. and he was basically saying, going back to like this dexterity kind of thing, like the the humanoid robots are becoming so dex that they have so much dexterity, they can do things that

People thought like last year that humans would never be able to do. And so he's like, We have to cordon off things that humans will do because eventually these robots are gonna do both blue collar jobs and white collar jobs. Everybody's talking about the white collar jobs and the AI stuff, but the robots, the AI robots are gonna be able to do like what blue collar jobs, you know, in terms of like manual labor and and fixing things and and and those kinds, which

you know, again, people didn't s thought for a while that those jobs would never be replaced. You know, so

Biff (41:25)
But

do you but Bill Gates is self-serving in that regard, right? He's he's got I don't know if he's still on the board at Microsoft, whatever, he's a founder. You know, they have AI, right? They're they're doing things. They may not be doing it at the speed of other companies. Is it the Cynic might say that, well, it's it's nice for him to say that it in some respects might level his playing field for Microsoft versus other companies. I I don't know. It

Lucky (41:50)
Yeah.

Biff (41:50)
just, you know, it's it's just it's easy to kind of think that way because

If these guys are so worried about it, why didn't they stop developing things? That they d they haven't.

Mr Fun (42:00)
feel like

I feel like we're at the right age. Like just as we're slowing down a little bit, they're gonna come up with these robots that do all the work for us. Like once I realize like I I'm probably not safe driving a car, I'm gonna have a driverless car. And you know it's gonna be good. I'm I'm okay. I'm looking forward to it.

Lucky (42:16)
See, you guys are you're

coming around to the the you know, we talked a couple months ago about the the humanoid robot that performs, you know, womanly duties for the men. Like see you guys are coming around. You're gonna you're gonna really get one yourself.

Mr Fun (42:29)
Yeah, like like cooking and cleaning?

Like cooking

Biff (42:31)
Okay.

Mr Fun (42:32)
and cleaning?

Biff (42:33)
No okay, okay. But let's let's be clear here. Look, you let's tap

Mr Fun (42:35)
Sorry.

Biff (42:36)
let's literally tap the brakes on that. Mr. Fun's talking about an autonomous vehicle. You bring it back to your your toothless robot woman, right? That you that you talked about before. They're completely different. They're completely

Mr Fun (42:50)
Right.

Biff (42:50)
different. Yeah.

Lucky (42:50)
Manual labor is manual labor, okay? I you know what I mean?

Biff (42:55)
It's is that we it it it is a job. Yeah, so good.

Mr Fun (42:56)
It's a job. It's a job when it yeah. Yeah.

Lucky (42:57)
It's a job. It's a job.

Okay,

so you know, we like to keep an eye on what's going on in the in the crime world, the client the crime blotter. you know, we've

Biff (43:09)
Yeah.

Lucky (43:10)
been, you know, we've making sure people know about, you know, watching out for white calling and et cetera, et cetera. I saw this art this story. I thought it was very important for us to bring it to our listeners' attention. Okay. Man goes to jail for killing another man with a dildo.

Alexei

Biff (43:32)
Okay.

Lucky (43:33)
Marshenko, who was a Russian private military he he works for the is some kind of r Russian private military company, got found guilty. He's going to jail for 18 years because he was involved in the torture and murder of another soldier. He the who the soldier was chained to a pole and then beaten to death with a dildo.

Mr Fun (43:55)
Was it warm or did he get cococked?

Biff (43:59)
Hmm.

Lucky (44:00)
Pretty good. I

mean, I I just and and I'm not making this

Biff (44:05)
Okay.

Lucky (44:06)
up, okay, unless this article is a fake AI article. Alexei Marshenko was sentenced to 18 years in stri in a strict regime penal colony.

Mr Fun (44:17)
Pino.

Lucky (44:18)
Penal colony.

Mr Fun (44:19)
Right.

Biff (44:20)
Yeah. Headline writers must have a field day with that one. So well

Mr Fun (44:24)
Yeah. Wow. That's

wouldn't wow. Wow. You know, I can't

Lucky (44:30)
I mean

Mr Fun (44:30)
believe the price of dildos. I saw them the other day. You gotta realize some women are sitting on a fortune.

Biff (44:41)
So

Lucky (44:39)
That's pretty good.

Biff (44:43)
so did they g lucky since you did

Mr Fun (44:45)
So bad.

Biff (44:47)
since you did the research, did they go into the description of the the the size of the dildo, what I mean

Mr Fun (44:52)
What color was it?

Lucky (44:54)
No. The you know, I'm assuming it was a good twelve inch, you know, probably purple or black. I don't know. You know, the thick

Biff (44:59)
Yeah.

Lucky (45:02)
the standard colors.

Biff (45:04)
I I

Mr Fun (45:05)
The standard color is purple?

Lucky (45:07)
I guess I think. I don't know.

Biff (45:07)
Let's see.

Mr Fun (45:10)
You know

Lucky (45:11)
There's no white ones, I know that for sure.

Mr Fun (45:11)
You know

Biff (45:13)
All right.

Mr Fun (45:17)
Yeah.

Lucky (45:18)
But okay,

all right. So we're gonna bring it to a provo I'm gonna turn this into a provocative qu question.

Mr Fun (45:24)
Okay.

Lucky (45:25)
Okay,

Biff (45:25)
Okay.

Lucky (45:25)
it's a would you rather? Okay, would you rather die by drowning, which is one of the worst deaths you can ever have, or by being bludgeoned with a dildo?

Mr Fun (45:42)
Wait, like I'm tied up or people it's not a bad reflection of me to be bludgered by a dildo. The guy who the guy who did it

Lucky (45:46)
You but you're you're gonna go down remember Mr. Fun,

he was such a great guy. It was so tragic. He got bludgeoned with a dildo. Like that would I mean you want people to

Mr Fun (45:56)
It I think if I

got bludgeoned with a real penis, that would be humiliating. But

Biff (46:04)
So

Lucky (46:04)
What do you

Biff (46:05)
what would you rather how would you rather be your epitaph to read? Bludgeon by a dildo or drowned?

Lucky (46:14)
Yeah.

Biff (46:15)
That's the c choice. Which is a which is

Lucky (46:16)
Drown, man. I'm going

drown. I I don't wanna be the guy who got bludgeoned with a dildo.

Biff (46:22)
Yeah, that's

Mr Fun (46:22)
Yeah.

Biff (46:23)
like idea. For which reminds me of the I'm not gonna say that the the joke, it's like, you know, Monica Lewinsky could do the best things in her life forever, but she's only known for one thing, right? And you don't want to be known for that one thing, which is to be beaten by a dildo. And

Mr Fun (46:41)
Right.

Biff (46:42)
as painful and as miserable a death as drowning is, similar to suffocating or being buried in a casket, sort of deal, I you'd you'd have to

If you want your legacy to be anything, you'd have to go with the not being beat by a dildo.

Mr Fun (46:59)
Yeah. Yeah, 'cause my kids my kids,

Lucky (46:59)
Yeah. Pour poured the meeting.

Biff (47:00)
Yeah.

Mr Fun (47:02)
how'd your dad die? Yeah. Do you have to talk about it? Do you have to talk about it?

Lucky (47:06)
Yeah. I

Biff (47:06)
Yeah

Lucky (47:07)
mean poor Dmitry Polom Polimov's family have to explain explain that he died by getting chained to a pole and beaten to death with a dildo. I mean, come on.

Mr Fun (47:17)
Alright, you're not ready for this. You're not ready for this, but I saw David Letterman's Stupid Human Tricks. Remember that?

Biff (47:23)
Mm-hmm.

Lucky (47:23)
Yeah.

Mr Fun (47:24)
And one of them was you have a handful of pencils. Okay? And you can only put one in your mouth and you have to put as many on your face. You use your hands to put them there, but then you have to remove your hands. How many pencils could you hold in place on your face? So, I mean, I'll give you the easy ones, like two it two over one over each ear.

And one in your mouth. Where else could you put where else could you put Okay, so you got what

Biff (47:49)
Right. In your ears, in in your nose.

Lucky (47:50)
In your ear holes, in your nose holes.

Mr Fun (47:53)
do we got there? We got two, three, four, and two more, so that's six.

Biff (47:59)
I think you could get more in your ear. I think you could get probably two.

Mr Fun (48:01)
No, you're only allowed

one in each in each orifice, in each place, in each

Biff (48:06)
But it's gotta sit, so you could put one between your nose and your lip.

Lucky (48:09)
In your eyes?

Mr Fun (48:09)
Right, mustache.

Biff (48:11)
Yeah yeah, but yeah, mustache, right?

Lucky (48:13)
Eye sockets.

Mr Fun (48:13)
Right.

Do you think you could make your bottom lip hold one?

Biff (48:18)
What's hard with a Yeah, I

Mr Fun (48:20)
eyes. One in each eye?

Lucky (48:21)
I sock it.

Biff (48:22)
so

Mr Fun (48:23)
Can you do it, Biff? Biff's on YouTube doing this right now. You can easily do that. All right. Would you

Biff (48:26)
No. Well you could if you had fish lips.

Mr Fun (48:29)
mind Biff, can you next podcast, can you bring a handful of pencils and we'll see how many you can All

Biff (48:33)
I will we'll we we will do it so

Mr Fun (48:35)
right.

Lucky (48:36)
And contact at lastsmartly dot com if you want to set that world record.

Mr Fun (48:40)
There you go. We are all about

Biff (48:40)
Ex absolutely.

Mr Fun (48:42)
the records.

Biff (48:42)
Abs do you know the answer, Mr. Funn, by the way?

Mr Fun (48:44)
Well this guy

did one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. nine, ten. He closed his eyes. So he could do ten pencils on his face.

Biff (48:52)
Okay. Yeah, okay. I I don't

think I can do time, but anyways, Mr. Funn, do you a joke? Bring us home?

Mr Fun (48:59)
I

I do, I do. lucky I don't know if if you were around when Biff told me he was looking to find some authentic WNBA shorts and I asked him if he was thinking of checking out Dick's. Sporting goods. Dick Dick's sporting goods.

Biff (49:14)
Jesus.

Lucky (49:16)
Okay.

Biff (49:16)
Okay.

That's a that's a it's one to end on. So that's that's very good. Lucky already gave it cotton. Yeah, that's that's very good, actually. Yeah, Dick Dick's

Mr Fun (49:23)
I wrote that myself. I wrote that myself about twenty minutes before we started. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna work on it.

Biff (49:30)
is in the news too, because they had a crappy you know quarter, I think, right?

Mr Fun (49:34)
Wow.

Biff (49:35)
because they bought Footwalker and they they're they've lost a lot of money on the Footwalker deal. But anyways, Lucky said it contact at lastmarily.com

Great to see you guys once again. Thank you everybody for listening again, whether it's on WGMD's ninety-eight five the Taco Del Marva or on your podcast platforms or you're watching us on YouTube. Wherever you are, please like, subscribe, and share, share, share. And Mr. Fun's got the final word.

Mr Fun (50:00)
Where can somebody get a hat like this, Biff? Can they can they email us saying they want to last part?

Biff (50:02)
I don't know. Lucky. If

Lucky (50:05)
Contact at lastsmartly

dot com. If you really want a hat, we'll work on getting you some hats.

Biff (50:09)
We we we

will get we will get some hats. So we will sell swag. So good. Anyways, great to see you guys. Everybody thank you for listening this week and we will look forward to doing it again next week. Until then, let me just say thank you and goodbye.